Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (2024)

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Ganker

Community-driven video game blog & discussion

  1. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I remove all chandeliers, eat only canned food that I bought myself, avoid swimming pools

  2. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I actively hunt for and rape every bald dude within a 30 mile radius. Dick him into submission

  3. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I start gooning session using some most pathetic material I can imagine, hoping sheer disgust will stop him from even wanting to touch me

  4. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hide in the Colorado map

  5. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I kill myself first, get fricked lmao

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      It appears the groomer has hung himself, excellent work 47. Burn the flag and return to the safehouse, I'll be in touch.

  6. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (6)

    Hello Anon, here's your pizza order

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (7)

      >your Uber eats driver, Tobias Roeper, is five minutes away

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      This would still work even if anons were expecting him.

  7. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Frick off, AI Black person

  8. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    frying pan

  9. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    with ilaria salis

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      i know who that is but i don't get it

  10. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    hire sam fisher to protect me

  11. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    You must go into hiding, always on the move, off the grid. As soon as he knows where you are, you are pretty much fricked.

  12. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Lock myself in the bathroom and shoot him when he enters

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (8)

      Shoots you through the peep hole

  13. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I replace all my employees and bodyguards with manlets. Nobody over 5'6'' allowed on site.

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      This might work. But he would just take the extra prep time, watch your routine and SO you.

  14. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    tgm

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      shut the frick up

  15. 2 days ago

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    Anonymous

    I tell security "if you see a guy with a barcode on the back of his head, kill him"

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (9)

      No barcode in sight sir, just a weird clown. Standing down

  16. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    A pile of mines under an open window next to a locked keycard door.
    Alternatively loosen your gutter drains

  17. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (10)

    Become a ladyboy.

  18. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I take strolls near the cliff side, regularly take bathroom break, leave my food unattended near an open window, don't bother washing the puddle of water around my electric outlet, ...
    Oh and of course hire a bodyguard but always have him stand in a position where he can't see me or hear me.

  19. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (11)

    >always be looking slightly to the left so that instead of killing you, he will punch you in the face instead
    >always be standing on stairs for the same effect
    >stand in a crowd so that he can't snipe me otherwise he would ruin his SA rating
    With this alone I am already invincible to any of his gimmicks short of poisoning. But additionally:
    >all my staff/security is female so it is impossible for him to impersonate them in any way
    >the moment we spot 47 I just run for it, 47 runs very slowly, I may not be the best runner but I can definitely outrun fricking 47
    >call Diana

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      be looking slightly to the left so that instead of killing you, he will punch you in the face instead
      Huh? I don't get it

      • 2 days ago

        Reply

        Anonymous

        If you press the attack button when the enemy is facing you or the side then you punch them but from behind you he subdues you

        • 2 days ago

          Reply

          Anonymous

          Or just stand a slightly different elevation. Knocking a dude in the stair ruins so many stealth moment.

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (12)

      Shoots you with the Sieker 1 forcing you to puke in a unguarded bird drinking fountain

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      >all my staff/security is female so it is impossible for him to impersonate them in any way
      That's transphobic, you know?

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      >man, that's weird, I don't remember hiring a bald woman with broad shoulders and a deep voice, she sucks good th-ACK

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      >stand on stairs
      >47 knocks you out and shoots you in the face while youre unconscious
      you didn't think this one through

      • 2 days ago

        Reply

        Anonymous

        47 can't knock out people standing on stairs. He can only punch their legs.

        • 2 days ago

          Reply

          Anonymous

          He can if he's above them on the stairs, no? He does a neckchop

          • 2 days ago

            Reply

            Anonymous

            Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (13)

            Yes but I'll be standing at the last step

            Give up 47, I am invincible

            • 2 days ago

              Reply

              Anonymous

              >I'll be standing at the last step
              47 ON SUICIDE WATCH

  20. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I empty my piss jar at the top of the stair leading to my goon cave. I throw my cum box at him as he enter the stairway, making him slip on my pissy cummy mess down the stair where he die.

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (14)

      >climbs up the ladder by the side of your house and drops a proximity mine through the attic onto your anime body pillow

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      note this

      Easy. I just kill myself before he can kill me.

  21. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hire a submarine crew, live in a cabin alone on one side of the submarine, shoot anyone that comes near, prepare all my food myself. If 47 tries to scuttle the sub I have the only escape vessel next to me. Checkmate baldie

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (15)

      Turns off the oxygen supply with a screwdriver and drowns you in the toilet when you try to move to the bathroom

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      >rig escape vessel with explosives
      >move the sub by giving false orders disugised as the captain
      >you smugly jump into your escape vessel
      >boom
      All this takes is knocking out one crew member for infiltration and the captain

  22. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    >using aigenned image instead of actual screenshot or promo art
    I don't get it.

  23. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I'm gonna go see Tosca at the theater

  24. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Easy. I just kill myself before he can kill me.

  25. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    To avoid getting drowned into the toilet when taking a piss, I'll just surround myself with gas tanks, heavy objects, and such to just get it over with.

  26. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (16)

    >Please, look at the picture, anon.
    What does he show you before killing you?

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      He depicts himself as a chad and me as a onions wojack. I kill myself in response

  27. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hire twice as many of these frickers that could easily identify suspicious ninja

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (17)

      Forgot pic

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (18)

      What's that a coin? Must be my lucky day

  28. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I'd get naked and start touching myself and any anus in sight. Upon 47 seeing this, the ESRB will revise the rating to AO, forcing all storefronts to take him and the game off the platform, rendering him powerless.

  29. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I unlock the door for him and ask him if I can at least finish my joint before he does what he's gonna do.

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (19)

  30. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    >Hitman levels are always in high tension public gatherings or super secret facilities with a army of security
    >random no go areas where baldy need to wear the sweaty ass pants of some pajeet to get through
    >mostly can't use guns or snipers, needs to get extremely close or poisen or sabotage electrical Systems where the fuse would just blow and nothing happens
    >white creepy dude in a suite blends in with a dark skinned crowd

    Yeah no. I would spot this Black person if he tried to stalk me at the grocery store. My tiny flat just has one outside balcony entry, so while breaking in would jump out the Window from the 1st floor.
    He literally had to wait til wednesday to disguise as a trashman and shoot me in the face on my way to the car at 3pm, IF I am even on the way.

    Thats what would make a grounded assassin game interesting. Planing, observing, stalking, buying efficient gear

  31. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (20)

  32. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Put a big billboard up: if you kill me you are gay!

  33. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM

  34. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (21)

    I'm just gonna leave this rat poison in this thread right here.

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      who asked ?

      • 2 days ago

        Reply

        Anonymous

        Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (22)

        No reason. Want some sushi?

        • 2 days ago

          Reply

          Anonymous

          nah i'm good thanks

          • 2 days ago

            Reply

            Anonymous

            Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (23)

            What about some wine instead?

            • 2 days ago

              Reply

              Anonymous

              theres smoke coming out of it sir.

              • 2 days ago

                Anonymous

                It’s simply impolite to refuse.

  35. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Tell him about finasterid, so he spares me out of gratitude

    • 2 days ago

      Reply

      Anonymous

      >Leaving hair at the scene of the accident

  36. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Go to a hairy gun owners convention (no hats or wigs allowed)

  37. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (24)

    Dress myself like a cute girl so he can't find me

  38. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Make all my guards wear the same color suit and stand under a chandelier.

  39. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    >He knew me. Actually recognised me, and looked me in my eyes. And he expected me. As if... That's impossible...

  40. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    nothing but I try to work much more than I already do so he kills me there and makes it the company's massive headache

  41. 2 days ago

    Reply

    Anonymous

    Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (25)

Hes been hired to assassinate you. How do you protect yourself knowing hes coming? (2024)

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